Sunday, June 30, 2013

The Big Bowel Movement Theory


 Not one given to orgasmic fury when his team scores a last second touchdown to win the Super Bowl I am however seized with naches over the exploits of Olympic athletes. What can be said about the last second sliver of a win by Dave Wottle in the 800 meter final in the 1972 Munich games, Bob Beamon’s escape from earth’s gravitational pull during the long jump in Mexico City in 1968 or Michael Phelps’ 100 meter butterfly gold in 2008 can never be said of geo-political stand offs.

The Iraq War, The aftermath of Hurricane Katrina and the Deepwater Horizon Oil Spill are just a few in a litany of episodes that accentuate America’s inability to get out of its own way and if you don’t mind extrapolating out a little further Mankind's inability too. These 3 towers to cognitive dissonance previously mentioned fit squarely into the theme behind Arthur Bentley’s “The Process of Government” written in 1908 which asserts that all political life is subject to the will of special interest, that there is no such thing as a common good, collective soul or spirit of the age.

All groups in and out of power jockey to create better opportunities for their interest. According to Bentley this applies to all groups that seek conjugality with a candidate that will deliver on their interest. It is no wonder all candidates become mealy as a campaign slogs on. It is in their best interest to do so. Not surprisingly voters will frequently vote against their own economic interests by virtue of belonging to a more important subset of interests that ultimately holds sway in their worldviews. Constituents who are pro-life or against same-sex marriage frequently vote against their economic interests.

This is why government efficiency gets such poor marks by voters as many voters belong to multiple, overlapping special interests. Say you are a woman, (that’s one special interest) but what if you are a gay, physically challenged, black woman? (That’s four special interests each simultaneously advocating for satisfaction and in the process constipating progress) In this country’s infancy voting was simple, issues were general, black and white. However, there was a belief by the Founding Fathers that due to a lack of education by the body politic a failsafe had to be instituted in the creation of the Electoral College to mitigate any potential unreason by the uneducated masses.                                         

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Mankind is so full of shit that to qualify this species as a worthy ball carrier in the evolutionary game you must agree that Jews are cheap, Poles are stupid and Irishmen are chronic rum pots. Having lived a fair amount of years I’ve known a few penurious Heebs, a couple less than bright Polaks and a bevy of persistently shit faced Micks.

It is because we allow the stereotypes to stand that special interest flourishes. In 2008 Obama was cast as an alien because it was in the best interests of McCain’s campaign to paint him as such while McCain was spun as too old and out of touch to govern in this high speed Internet world.

It’s all shit, maybe not just your shit. Politicians, consultants, handlers, media, lobbyists and voters are locked in this giant, refulgent daisy chain with no shortage of lube. Politics is the last refuge of the scoundrel as any candidate who has ever has had the youthful indiscretion of being filmed sucking a cock inevitably finds out.

Which brings me back to the Olympics. The ins and outs of politics still pale in comparison to Michael Phelps’ completing his 8 tasks of Hercules at the Beijing Olympics in 2008. This is the point. The purity of unsullied athletic competition is in the best interest of reasonable men to maintain their reason. It is not in the best interest of Mankind to follow the chest pounding of  its Neanderthal leaders. What is accomplished in the world by ethnic cleansing that can’t be accomplished by athletes squaring off in competition is something I will never know.






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