Friday, June 7, 2013

Auto Correct Can Go Phuc Itself!


            We live in a brave new world of technology, not to be mistaken for a brave nude world, which would be much more preferable if I was in the position to have my druthers, which seems increasingly more difficult these days as the price of druthers is  sky high. But it’s really the shroud of technology that has descended over this culture that gives one pause and none so much as that carnivorous cunt of convenience Auto Correct or as I like to call it “the Band-aid of devolution.”

            For my money Auto Correct is a great inconvenience and the harbinger of a decline in human progress. It is the writer’s version of shoes with Velcro clasps. Learning to tie one’s shoes was a childhood passage that made even the most sullen youngster rush into the house with glee to show his mother how he had managed to master the over, under, around and through moves required to gain entry into the next phase of childhood. Velcro technology usurped this rite and deprived the child of an early form of self-reliance.

            Learning to spell was the next hurdle as any 2nd grade kid who had difficulty explaining the difference between synonyms, antonyms and homonyms could easily attest. Spelling was a man’s game in the grade school sense. If you could somehow have dominion you were regarded as a go to guy, someone with great intelligence and cachet

           Auto Correct has eliminated a considerable amount of the Sturm und Drang related to writing. It admonishes you for taking creative liberties in spelling and syntax. It is a scold and a martinet designed to codify and smooth out all bumps in the human genome. If you do not have to know how to spell or where to place punctuation or are continually dissuaded from going down a different creative path how is it any good for the progress of humanity?

            Perhaps I exaggerate to make my point, but wouldn’t it be a little more propitious to let mankind have at it, make his human bones like all of his predecessors who sculpted great literary works out of the pure clay of infinite possibility without a classroom monitor always looking over your shoulder? Auto Correct narrows down experience, eliminates the need for reference books, cools the natural inclination for playing and ultimately squelches the need for opposing points of view.

            As good as a lot of technology has been, (the breakthroughs in medicine and science have been enormous) it has a propensity for reducing the quality and depth of experience. This phenomenon has no greater example than in the realm of recorded music. Vinyl records are still regarded as the acme of a listener’s experience. Thirty years ago CDs came to the fore and the listener was willing to sacrifice fidelity for the convenience of size and durability. Today MP3s are the consumer standard.  Convenience has officially trumped fidelity as the most important feature.

            Photography, especially, has gone through a horrible pillaging as the earliest technology of light tight box with a lens on one end and light sensitive plate on the other end is still the best technology and will render an image that still surpasses anything digital can attain.

            Instead of trying to find a cure for existence we spend our days reinventing things that have already been invented for the sake of making a few bucks, but that is another conversation. For right now you can take your Auto Correct and shove it up your token…?

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