My Bucket List - Newly Revised

Having just seen the film Just Go For It with Adam Sandler, Jennifer Aniston and Brooklyn Decker I have revised my bucket list as of May 16^th 2013. 11:30 pm

1. Lay awake and think about Brooklyn Decker.

2. Think some more about Brooklyn Decker.

3. Purchase Doctor’s smock, nametag, glue on Van Dyke beard and meerschaum pipe.

4. Score some Spanish fly.

5. Master shape shifting.

6. Chloroform Dr. Latimore Bivens DeGroot Brooklyn Decker’s family physician and assume his identity with previously purchased smock, nametag, beard and pipe.

7. Schedule doctor’s appointment for Brooklyn Decker.

8. Stand behind oil painting with the eyes cut out and watch Brooklyn Decker before coming out disguised as Dr. DeGroot.

8. After thorough exam invite Brooklyn Decker to dinner at my apartment.

9. Have sex with Brooklyn Decker. I can’t believe it!

10. Have sex with Brooklyn Decker again. Whoa! Is this really happening?

11. Have sex with Brooklyn Decker one more time. Spanish Fly is no joke!

12. Present Brooklyn Decker with a bikini made from hair collected from her shower drain.

13. Circumvent the 500-foot restraining order regarding the distance I have to stay away from Brooklyn Decker.

14. Implement shape shifting.

15. Attempt to forget Brooklyn Decker.

16. Get 40,000 volts across the frontal lobe to forget about Brooklyn Decker.

17. Have sex with a Brooklyn Decker impersonator. No harm, no foul.

18.Check on cost of anatomically correct Brooklyn Decker doll.

19.Live at my mother’s and play Call of Duty 4 in my tighty whities.

20. Get tattoo that says, “Mama tried!”